you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
