Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I need to calm my uterus...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize