ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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