the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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