I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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