I wanna passion pit in your ass
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
