i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
