Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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