you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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