dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
