I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
