grandma shit on top of the toilet
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
