I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
