Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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