There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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