Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
