In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
this hospital has no fireball
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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