The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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