hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
