It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
