I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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