i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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