it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
