Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
