I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
