im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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