Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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