i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
