Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
