Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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