I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
