I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
