Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
