I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
