fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
