they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize