HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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