Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
