So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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