My brain says no but my pants say off.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How external is "for external use only"?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
