it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
