Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize