I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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