handjob tips. give me some.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
