Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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