Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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