Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
