Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
