Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
