I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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