Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
