im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
