marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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