Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
