Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
