We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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