So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
barbara walters just said penis...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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