Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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