Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
