I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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