you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
