i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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