That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
