just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
