Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
