I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
